The Light In My Dark
by KitKat001
Summary: This is a one-shot about Lily and James when they first find themselves falling in love. It is also a song-fic based on the song 'So Far Away' by Staind


The Light In My Dark 

          A one shot/song-fic about Lily and James. This fic takes place when Lily and James are just figuring out why they love each other. Number 2 will address Lily's thoughts. The number 1 will address James thoughts. Narrator (me) will be expressed with a straight line -. This song fic is based on a song by Staind. Their song is 'So Far Away'. In case you also do not get a song-fic, the repetitive parts of the song (which will be in italics) is usually the chorus.

Disclaimer- I do not own Harry Potter or 'So Far Away' by Staind. In other words I own nothing but the plot.

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This is my life  
It's not what it was before  
All these feelings I've shared

1 What was wrong with me? She sat there looking at me with teary eyes.

'I have finally had enough of your jokes James!' She said through sobs.

Her tears inflicted pain that soared through me and pierced every part of my body. I had always liked Lily… but only for her looks. Now I was seeing something different. It almost scared me in a way.

'What is wrong with you? You cant get off treating people like that!' She cried.

'I'm sorry Lily…' I said. This time I meant it.

Lily crumpled in my arms, shaking and sobbing. I had no idea what to do. We both sat on the grass by the big oak tree; it felt alone and quiet. And then there was Lily, sobbing gently in my lap, rubbing her watery eyes with her hands.

I lifted her chin with my finger and my thumb rested on her soft chin. I brushed away a tear from her cheek.

'James…?' She whispered in confusion.

I confused myself as well, so there was no need to stop there. 'Don't cry, Lily… Please.' I whispered softly to her. 1

_And these are my dreams  
That I'd never lived before  
Somebody shake me 'cause I  
I must be sleeping _

2 I stared into James deep eyes. What a git. But he was a cute, sorry, git. I just couldn't bring myself to believe what was happening. I was crying all over James and what I expected him to do was tease or just walk away. Now he held me in his arms like I was a small child in need of care. He pulled me closer, whispering that things would be all right.

          'James…?' I said in more of a question. My voice was soft and I was a bit frightened.

          His voice came out like a whisper on the wind. 'Don't cry, Lily… Please.'

          He leaned closer to me and I closed my eyes, my sobs slowly dieing. Tears streamed down my face as he took it in his hands, and kissed my cheek. Then he trailed his lips from my cheek to my lips. It tickled my skin and when he deepened his kiss on me, my whole body tingled. It was unlike anything I had ever felt before.

          I let out one of my last remaining sobs as he kissed me and he pulled away gently, looking guilty. He bit his bottom lip and ran a hand through his hair. What a silly little habit.

          'Sorry Lily, I didn't mean to make you cry more.' He said looking down.

          'Y-you haven't…' I said pulling him close to me again.

His lips touched mine and I felt the bolts of electricity through me once again, the tingling on my lips as me moved them open with his tongue. He smelled so good as I held him close to me. Quidditch field grass. 2

Now that we're here, it's so far away  
All the struggle we thought was in vain  
And all the mistakes, one life contained  
They all finally start to go away

1 Lily was so beautiful. She was beautiful in every way. As a person and as a mortal state. I couldn't believe I was kissing her. Then she muffled a sob in my mouth and I quickly pulled away. Great James, I thought, look at what you've done now. You've scared her and made her want to cry even more. I was ashamed of my foolish actions. I should have never kissed her.

          'Sorry Lily, I didn't mean to make you cry more.' I said. I couldn't bring myself to look her in the eyes.

          'Y-you haven't…' She said to me, grabbing my robes and pulling me in even closer than before.

          I moved my lips against hers again, and this time, I slid my tongue past her lips. She was so amazing. I never had felt this way about anyone before. I remembered the times that I teased her, and she tried to stand up to me against snivelling Snape. But that didn't matter to her anymore. It didn't matter if I could be a total arse sometimes.

          Lily then started taking control, pushing me lightly down onto the grass, our lips never breaking contact. She climbed on top of me sitting on my stomach and running her hands through my hair and down my neck. I knew she liked the hair.

          My hands, which were on her waist, moved in massaging circles and onto her belly. She let out a small giggle, which tickled my tongue as it went through my mouth. Finally she went from sitting, to lying on top of me and I rolled her onto her back so that I was laying beside her on the ground, still kissing her as I leaned over her soft, pale body.

          I heard her small moan and it sent shivers up my spine. Then I pulled away from her a bit, so our noses touched. Her beautiful eyes blinked open and she stared into my emerald green ones. I trailed my finger down her cheek and down her neck, and stopped at her robes. 1

And now that we're here, it's so far away  
And I feel like I can face the day  
And I can forgive  
And I'm not ashamed to be  
The Person that I am today

2 He pulled away from the kiss and his sweet little nose touched mine as he grinned down at me. His emerald eyes had a strange sparkle to them that I had never got the chance to see before.

          'Why are you like this James?' I said sighing. I snuggled myself under his body. 'You make me forgive you, you silly little git.'

          He chuckled at my teasing and ran another hand through his hair. His hair **was** hot… I couldn't hide that anymore. His hair that stuck up in so many different ways. His hair was like his spirit. Stuck up, but cute… I giggled. He was so wild.

          He sat up and I did too. Then he leaned his back against the oak tree and took my hand, pulling me toward him. I leaned against his chest and snuggled my face into it. His warm arms wrapped around me and I could feel all of his muscle that he gained from quidditch. I don't know why I never noticed it before. James was just about the most attractive wizard on earth. 2

These are my words  
That I've never said before  
I think I'm doing okay  
And this is the smile  
That I've never shown before  
Somebody shake me 'cause I  
I must be sleeping

1 She was close to me, snuggling into my body like a frail child. What was this feeling? It was tugging at me telling me that she needed to know what it was. How could I tell her if I had no clue what the feeling was?

          'L-Lily…" I stammered.

          "Mmm?" She mumbled into my robes.

She looked up at me into my eyes again.

"Lily, I… Well… I think I love you." I said, my voice gaining confidence.

Lily laughed. She threw her arms around my neck and kissed it softly. "I love you too, James. I love you James Potter." She whispered.

Love. Was it supposed to feel this good? Wasn't it supposed to be something that was abusive? What had I done? The only love I knew of was a parent's love. Someone had told me that parents HAD to love their child. I didn't believe they had to… love was by choice wasn't it? But then… I wanted to believe my parents loved me. They used to test their spells on me, and lock me in the closet when they didn't feel like dealing with me. Once in a while they would forget I was in there and not feed me. Then they would hit me with duelling spells because I didn't make a fuss that I was still in there and remind them. But when I did make a fuss, it would be even worse than that.

I guess that was why I made such an effort with Quidditch. I wanted to be good at something. Then maybe my parents would stop hurting me. But that was back then, before I could stand up to them.

'James? Is something wrong?' Lily asked.

          I shook my head no. Then I sighed and shrugged. 'Well, sort of.'

          She sat on my lap and wrapped her legs around my waist. 'What is it?'

          'I'm um… not really sure how love is supposed to feel. I don't know if its supposed to be like this.' I said softly.

          Lily knew about my parents. Padfoot told her once, the stupid git. I know he was trying to help me, but sometimes Sirius could be so dumb.

          'Does it feel like this?' Lily asked.

          She then moved her lips against mine in the most passionate kiss I had ever received, even though Lily was pretty much the only girl I had ever really kissed. She massaged my shoulders and I felt like I had melted as she kissed me. I could barely move, only pull her closer in response. Then she parted her lips from mine and gave me a sly smile.

          'Yeah… it sort of feels like that…' I whispered, breathlessly.

          She nodded. 'Good.' She said pleased with herself. 'That's the way its supposed to feel. Love can't be explained, James. It's just something that happens. You know it when you feel it.'

          'I feel it, Lily. I know I love you.' I said with all my heart poured into those few words. Then I smiled. I smiled like I never had before. I felt like it was a smile that could tell the word, I loved Lily. 1

_Now that we're here, it's so far away  
All the struggle we thought was in vain  
And all the mistakes, one life contained  
They all finally start to go away  
And now that we're here, it's so far away  
And I feel like I can face the day  
I can forgive  
And I'm not ashamed to be  
The Person that I am today _

2 James smiled at me. He looked so happy, so content. I loved him, I really did. I never wanted to let him go. The sky was darkening, into deep maroon and blue. The sun was showing its final light.

          'James.' I said softly.

I got off of his lap and rested my back against the tree like him, putting my head on his shoulder. He rested his head upon mine and rubbed his cheek into my hair.

'Lily.' He whispered. 2

I'm so afraid of waking  
Please don't shake me  
Afraid of waking  
Please don't shake me

1 The skies were becoming a deeper blue as I whispered Lily's name. It was so nice to hear out loud. My eyes felt heavy, and I looked at Lily and her eyes were slowly closing as well.

          'Don't fall asleep.' Lily whispered. 'I don't want you to wake up and not remember…'

          'I could never forget you. EVER.' I said, my eyes closed.

          I could hear her breathing softly. She snuggled deeper on my shoulder and I wrapped my arm around her. She lifted her head up and kissed my neck. Then she kissed my cheek.

          'Good.' She whispered, resting her head once again. 'Good…'

          'I don't want this to be a dream.' I said softly.

          'I wont let it be.' Lily whispered.

          I rested my head on hers again and then kissed the top of her head. 'Good.' I whispered. 1

Now that we're here, it's so far away  
All the struggle we thought was in vain  
And all the mistakes, one life contained  
They all finally start to go away  
And now that we're here, it's so far away  
And I feel like I can face the day  
I can forgive  
And I'm not ashamed to be  
The Person that I am today

- The skies grew darker as Lily and James held each other closely to their bodies. They could feel each other breathing. They could hear the sounds of birds slowly die, and the comforting noise of owls hooting far off in the distance filled their ears, as well as the crickets that played their songs.

          The sun was no longer to be seen, and the moon drifted upwards, taking its place in the sky. The stars wrote a story to those who couldn't read them. The mountains had a light, illuminating their edges.

          James had fallen into a deep sleep, and Lily, who was almost asleep, reached for James's hand. She took it in her own and kissed it, laying their interlocked hands on her lap and snuggling into James's body.

          Her eyes closed slowly and her mind drifted off into thoughts of James, as she held him closely to her. From far away, someone would see an old oak tree with two people sitting beneath it, and think nothing of it. To Lily and James, it was the picture of a beginning; A beginning of an everlasting love. There was no dark. To each other, there was only light. They were the light in the dark. –

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A/N: This is so touching… I have always wanted to write something about Lily and James because I think their relationship is something special. The stuck up James Potter, and Lily, who tries to tame him. And they hate each other too! What a perfect couple! Please, review to this. It's my first Lily and James fan-fic. I want to know how I did…

_Your friend, Kit_


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